Lydia was born naturally, and stayed with Dawn and Stuart in the hospital. They refused a post-mortem, knowing that in roughly half of all cases the results come back inconclusive. “My concern was that if it comes back with nothing, where does that leave you?” says Dawn. “It can make people blame
Dawn and Stuart Pickett, parents of Lydia
Excerpt from 'How I Came To Hold You'
topic of a post-mortem and to ensure that parents can make an informed choice as
to whether to have a post-mortem examination of their baby.'
The choice of whether or not to have a post-mortem in an effort to ascertain any causes behind a baby's death can be a very difficult one for bereaved parents to make, especially when emotions are at their peak. On one hand, it can provide an answer as to why the loss happened - an underlying condition, perhaps, or some sort of infection. On the other, it can come back inconclusive; a result which occurs in around half of all cases. This can leave the parent in limbo, not having any answers, not knowing why their baby died. It can, as Dawn says in the excerpt from 'How I Came To Hold You' above, make a mother more inclined to blame herself for the loss.
While I understand the importance of research and the positive impact it could have on the future, as far as we're concerned having a reason for her death wouldn't change the fact she was dead. Neither of us could bear the thought of them cutting into her, or 'hurting' her when she was already so delicate. She was perfect and she didn't need to be disturbed; especially as they could not promise it wasn't going to achieve anything.
We had one. It raised a lot of questions which we will never really get answers to, only assumptions. I'm glad we did though as we already didn't have real answers.