Recently I've been asking myself what I want from this book. I know why I've written it - the experience of pregnancy after the death of a baby has not been widely covered in today's market, and the sales of this book will help provide Sands with valuable funds. And sure, I'd love for it to sell well and be widely heard of. But what do I want to come from this book? What is its purpose?
But, more importantly, I want 'How I Came To Hold You' to join the ranks of similar books which serve to show that stillbirth, miscarriage and baby loss are not things to be ashamed of. In a strange way, those who have experienced such a trauma, yet still found the ability to put one foot in front of the other and keep breathing, should take pride in their strength of character and sheer bloody-mindedness. Being able to live with grief such as this is a testament to just how resilient the human spirit can be. Of course, they would rather be able to hold their baby than accept a pat on the back for being brave; but they should not go without our admiration.
I would love for parents who have suffered a loss to be able to talk about it if they want to, to someone who understands what they should and should not do and say when faced with a person who is pouring out their soul. I want those who have recently been bereaved to see that there is a way through the darkness, and a light at the end of the tunnel.
I was often told as a child that 'I want doesn't get'. Well, I want a lot of things from this book; some of them selfish, most of them unselfish. Whether I get them or not; time will tell.